Help for Inmates 

Important Steps To Success While Your Family Member is Inside

Seek Support

• From family members, friends, church, community agency or government service agencies ... anyone!

• If you have the time and energy, create a support group with other visiting families. Network! Since they are in the same situation you are in, they are the best resource for support (from emotional support to carpooling).

• Keep a journal.

• Don't isolate yourself! Your life MUST go on.

Be Real About Visiting

• Visiting costs time, money, childcare, emotions, patience... Don't beat yourself up if you can't make it this time around. There's always another time to visit.

• Space your visits so that both of you can enjoy the greatest benefits from your visit.

When You Visit, Be Prepared

• Make sure you are an approved visitor (you are on the visiting list) BEFORE you make the trip.

• Know the days and hours of visiting and any schedules the institution may adhere to.

• Make sure you are aware of possible lockdowns before you leave for the visit. This can be done with a quick phone call to the prison.

• Make sure you have everything you need for the visit.

• Make sure you don't have anything that is prohibited - read the rules and regulations ahead of time.

• Don't try to sneak anything in - you may lose your visiting privileges this time and in the future.

• Prepare emotionally. Visiting a loved one inside can be emotional - before, during, and most especially after the visit.

• Talk to your children (if any) ahead of time about the visiting process and check in with them after the visit is over. If it's a lot for you to deal with - think what it's like for them.

• If able, bring coins and small bills for the vending machines.

Budget Your Money

• If you are accepting collect calls from your family member who is incarcerated, expect higher phone bills and budget accordingly.

• Visiting is also an added expense - keep in mind the transportation costs, time factor (if you have to take the day off), childcare costs, lodging, etc.

• Know your limits and don't overstep them. Negotiate with your family member inside, and come up with a plan to stay connected without putting you in debt (from number of visits, number of phone calls you can accept, to sending him/her money, magazines, books and other needs).

Find Creative Ways to Save Money

• Try carpooling, through agencies or with other visitors, to visit a family member – share expenses, this will save a lot.

• Stay with friends or relatives who live nearby if possible.

• If you are in need of extra funds, find out if you qualify for any type of public assistance (i.e. food stamps, food banks, WIC, section 8, etc.) and use it.

Find Out What Resources Are Available To You

• Who are your visiting resources? For example: local community agencies, church groups, support groups.

• Call your phone company, or shop around for ways to get your phone bill down.

• Check out community agencies that are specifically geared for inmate families - they may have a list of resources in your area.

• If you are in need of a job, or additional educational training, contact your nearest ‘One-Stop Center’ and take advantage of the many programs offered by the Federal Government.

Stay Connected

• Remember that visiting is just one way to stay connected; phone calls and letters can be just as beneficial. Some institutions now provide email service for prisoners that qualify. But remember, there is generally a cost attached.

• Get involved. Participate in social programs, the workforce, families, communities, schools and religious institutions, you will find others who may be in the same situation as you are and you could be of great support to one another.

Be Honest With Your Kids

• Tell your kids the truth about their mother, father, sister, brother, etc. being in prison or jail. Many times, they know what is going on but are afraid to talk to you about it.  By being truthful, you will provide them an opportunity to open up with their feelings and get answers to questions they may have.

• Your children may be facing a hard time in school or with their friends and they need your support more than ever, so give them the opportunity to share their thoughts and problems with you. If this is a hard time for you, imagine how difficult it must be for them.

Stay Positive

• Try to keep a positive attitude by not dwelling on negative thoughts. Normally, you can do very little to change the situation dwelling on things that are out of your control can only add to your stress level.

• When visiting, remember that the whole visiting process can be a trying and emotional process. Try to keep things positive and make the best out of the visit.

• Stay optimistic! It will make the entire process a bit easier to handle, and easier for you and your loved one to get back to your day-to-day routine.

• Try to enjoy your short time with your loved one or friend.

Stay Focused

• Don't lose sight of yourself, your family, and your goals.

• Remember you have a life to maintain outside … RIGHT NOW - your job, your children, your home, and most of all - yourself.

• Stay on point. Start working on re-entry plans and programs for when your loved one is released.